Monday, 1 February 2010

Feeling good :)

I haven't weighed myself today (it still feels like the 31st of january it's just quite late :P), but I'm feeling ok about it.
My day started off quite well I had a coffee and a tea for breakfast and came home at lunch time. I tryed sushi for the first time and didn't really like it (it was cheap stuff from the supermarket, so it probably wasn't very good anyway) and i didnt feel satisfied so I ended up having a bowl of cereal and a slice of brown bread with Philadelphia and chorizo on it. I felt crap about that, but I haven't eaten anything since then. I had a caramel latte as my dinner, but that's it. I love getting to the end of the day like this and feeling really hungry. It makes me feel like I've actually achieved something and brushing my teeth keeps me from snaking so I tend to well at night before bed. I exercised for about 2 hours tonight. I do it when I'm watching tv so it doesn't get too boring.
I tried on a pair of old jeans after which had been really tight on me since the day I got them and they were actually a perfect fit, if not slightly loose. I also tryed on a skirt I used to wear when I was like's still slightly tight but I think I could get away with wearing, so I'm happy about all this :)
I'm worried I'll weigh myself in the morning and not see any change thoug, this has happened before and it's really unmotivaion and my ractions are quite unpredictable..I could either go and stik my head in the frindge and eat everything in sight or try and work off the extra pounds.
When I first began to put on weight I got stretch marks on the inside and outside of my thighs. They were horrible and purple and just disgusting. They really used to get me down. I remember being on the beach like a year ago and puting my hands over them so people couldn't see. I looked today and you can bearly see them anymore. I was scared that with the weight loss they would reapear and become worse, because it's also possible to get them when you lose weight rapidly. But it seems like I've been lucky!
The whole point of losing the weight was about feeling better about myslef, more confident and happy and eventhough I haven't quite reached my target yet, I'm starting to feel really good, my boyfriend has really noticed a differnce. He has akways said I look good at any weight, but the other day he said I looked like had done when we first started going out (it will be two years this month!) and today my mum said 'You're looking very skinny these days, I hope you're eating enough'. The sence of achievement is amazing and looking in the mirror and seeing a slight deifference everyday is just the best feeling
But I'm so scared of going back and puting it all on again. I hated waking up every morning and hating everything about my body. I don't think I'm perfect or anything..I'm VERY far from it but I feel good and I'm happy and exited to achieve my weight target.
Maybe I'm just having a very positive day for some reason :P I still have times when I just think 'Omg I my tummy is so fat' or 'my legs are so gross'.
What really got me losing the first pounds was looking at real girl thinspiration on the internet and now what inspires me most is seeing the changes in my own body and realising it's actually possible to keep going. I don't like looking at celebrities or models for thinspiration because I feel it would be unrealistic to set myself a target that these people are achieving with top dietitians and personal trainers.
I hope tomorrow goes well, but I usually find that after a good day I have a bad one. I have an exam on wednesday so I'm at home all day tomorrow doing revision. Hopefully I won't lose all will power and over eat.
I've noticed lately that if I try to eat any kind of bread like in a sandwich or pizza I always feel really sick after..really full like my tummy has got too much food in it. Apparently bread expandss in your tummy..I used to eat it all the time, I'd somethimes have 2 sanwiches at lunch time and snak on bread in the evenings..hopefully this means my stomach has shrinked because even after 1 slice I feel really full these days.

Anyway, I won't ramble on anymore, I'm hoping there will be a change on the scales tomorrow morning..wish me luck!!

I hope it's going well with you guys, keep strong and beautiful and thin!! xx

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