Monday, 8 February 2010

Strating over

I haven't done so well this week..I have been pretty much eating whatever I want, which means I haven't lost any weight at all..:(
I'm anoyed at myself, but I have been living of coffee today so I feel like I've managed to start again with this. Lets hope I don't ruin it at dinner.
I've stepped up my exercise.
I think the extra food has alowed me to do that which is most probably why I haven't put on any weight this week. I really hope I loose at least a cuple of pounds this week as I'm going to New York with school on saturday and my aim was to have reached my target weight by then, which by the way, has very obviously not happened (not that I was expecting it too!).
I found out today from a friend that if you lose over 2 pounds in a week you are considered to be crash dieting. Looks like I've been doing just that...crash diets are famous for making you lose loads of weight very fast but then making you put it all back on also very fast. I'm just wishing and hopping that this will NOT happen to me.
I'm done with feeling fat and disgusting, I don't think I could deal with gaining it all back and feeling like a fat ugly cow again. I noticed today how good it feels to walk without feeling my legs rub together and how nice it is to actually be a size 6 and not wearing really tight size 6 clothes just so I can say I'm a size 6...I feel happy and free from the disgusting lard that used to cover me.
I'm not at my target yet and I still feel like I have way too much horrible fat on my body, but I feel like I can do this.
I won't go back and I won't fall into that crash diet trap of putting it all back on when I achieve my target.
I will never go back. I can't put myself through that again.
I'm going to do some exercise now then some school work to keep my mind off food. For some reason making notes on (extremely boring) sociology keeps me from thinking of the warm loaf of bread or the chocolate and toffee icecream sitting in the kitchen just waiting to be eaten!

Keep strong, we can do this! xxx

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